forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
