Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
