Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
