He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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