So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
