We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
