3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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