it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I fill condoms, not promises.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
