she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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