I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
