the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
