remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
