Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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