All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
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