I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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