R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
