Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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