You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
