I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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