how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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