I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
