hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
