the condom got lost in my hair
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
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