Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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