My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
