we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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