I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
