kristin has been a bad kristin
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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