There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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