so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
