When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
