I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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