My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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