Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
