I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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