Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize