i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
