it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
handjob tips. give me some.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
