i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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