That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty