its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
23 People Confess The Lamest Things They’ve Ever Done To Fit In
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
These 27 Texts Prove Pets Make Better BFFs Than Humans
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way