She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
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Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
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I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win