i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
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Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
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I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life