I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
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