so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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