Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
