you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
