Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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