My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
