You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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