This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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