come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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