Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
