I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
