You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
