Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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