yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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