don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
