I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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