Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I just googled if crying burns calories
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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