so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
