Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
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