And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
