I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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