is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
