he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
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The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
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She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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