I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
