I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
