good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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