id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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