so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I need a burrito and a hug.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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