hell yes lets make some ravioli
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Randomize
